We would've posted your submission, Jacob. But your last line is one syllable short.
i know im so upset about that and the thing about sucking my balls was just a joke
I know you were joking, Jacob. I'm just saying, what you've got there is close. Make some changes if you want us to post it.
i will shawno.... do comments apper in ur google reader to?
Not in my GooglesReader, but I do get them in my e-mail.
Yes, the last line is one syllable too short, but the second line is one too long. You can make it a haiku simply by typing it differently:I'm in this officeReally really pisses meoff God kill me pleaseGranted, that doesn't flow quite as well....
Perhaps adding a comma after "off" in the third line would help with the flow.
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7 comments:
We would've posted your submission, Jacob. But your last line is one syllable short.
i know im so upset about that and the thing about sucking my balls was just a joke
I know you were joking, Jacob. I'm just saying, what you've got there is close. Make some changes if you want us to post it.
i will shawno.... do comments apper in ur google reader to?
Not in my GooglesReader, but I do get them in my e-mail.
Yes, the last line is one syllable too short, but the second line is one too long. You can make it a haiku simply by typing it differently:
I'm in this office
Really really pisses me
off God kill me please
Granted, that doesn't flow quite as well....
Perhaps adding a comma after "off" in the third line would help with the flow.
Post a Comment